Monday, May 23, 2011

Sunday, May 22, 2011

It would be great if today is the first day of 2006. I wish I could turn back time and change what I still regret today, but I know it won't happen. Just a wish man. Just a wish.
Do you feel alone sometimes? Just alone, without anybody else who can help you?

Maybe even you have a boyfriend or a girlfriend. even if you have a lot of friends, relatives..? And why? Are you just paranoid?

At times my depression makes me feel alone in the world and that there is no hope for me. I try not to think about this. I try to keep busy. Feeling alone is a lonely feeling you know. Though i'm not sleepy right now.. I'm really in a state which made me feel like scribbling these lines..

Wish I had wings..
Wanna fly away from those who make me cry,
Make me desperate,
Make me feel insecure and hopeless..
Wish Allah gave me wings,
so that I can fly..
and touch the lovely blue sky..


I always feel like I'm not good enough?

Any body ever feel like this as well? Just to clarify, I’m not writing this for attention. I’m posting this question because I want to change and I don’t know how to do it. My problem is that I’m never satisfied with myself. I always feel inferior to other people. I analyze myself and just think that I need to improve all the time. When I’m working out, I always get discouraged because I can’t do a certain amount of weight or reps. I think of myself as lazy because I’m not in perfect condition. I blame the failure of every relationship I’ve been in on myself. I wish I just had self-confidence and I wish I could just relax with everything. I get nervous for things way more than most people. Like in high school, I would get so nervous in front of my class that I would stutter. When i walked in front of crowded people i start to count my finger, and get really red and embarrassed for no reason. I don’t understand how people have the self-confidence to stand in front of a crowd and be completely calm. Anybody have any tips on how to be self-confident? It’s another thing I just hate about myself.

Saturday, May 21, 2011


Why do people think it's odd to go shopping alone?

I am a 23 year old female at university. Like most women, I LOVE shopping. Whether it's for food or clothes. Just love it. Shopping with friends is fun but I rather shop alone. I enjoy going for days out with friends just to browse but sometimes I go into the city centre to look around by myself. I feel bersalah when I need to buy something and I have a friend with me because they have to wait with you while you choose something, you have to wait while they go to shops they like. Kan macam menyusahkan your friends tu kan? It's so much easier when you're on your own you can just go where and when you like. But I'm self conscious now because my friend saw me in town and asked who I was with. When I said on my own she started laughing and goes "you weirdo I would never go shopping on my own"! What do you guys think? Do you go shopping on your own or is it odd?

May this year be your best ever. I hope all your birthday dreams and wishes come true. Not just a year older, but a year better. May today be filled with sunshine and smiles, laughter and love. Happy birthday si cantik manis Nabilah Abdul :)

Friday, May 20, 2011

Don't be angry with me for long, and don't ignore me for punishment. You have your work, your friends, your entertainment.. I have only you :(

Thursday, May 19, 2011

I hope I will never get tired of this or shall I say these..

I'm trying my best here friends, you know i hate to be like this.
I'm trying my best here too ayah, don't worry..
I'm trying my best to ignore all...

I'm doing my best for everyone, does anyone here doing their best for me? sigh*

Pokai..

I am lost. I dont know what to do. what to say. what to think. I am not even sure if i live a meaningful life today. My money is running low sebab sekarang cuti sem. Haiyaa stress kan bila duit takde ni, serba tak kene dibuatnya :( sobsss..

Hehehehe! Macam burung kan? :)

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Hoopsandyoyo- I love you


We're just having a heart to heart talk.. Deep down my heart all I want to do is crying my heart out so that you know that I'm just loving you so damn much! No words can fill how much I love you, it's just hidden inside me..